The Darker Side Of Blue
by Shayegrizz
Summary: Alex makes a big mess of things. How Alex ended up arrested in 'See You Lie To Me.' Rated M for violence.
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay so here is the story of how Alex landed herself in prison, prior to the fan fic 'See You Lie to Me'. Hope you all like it, and many thanks to everyone who is following my stories! Don't be shy, feel free to leave a review, positive or negative! Any suggestions or information on how to improve my work is much appreciated.**_

_**X0X0 Shay**_

Alex Vause had learned a lot from Fahri. Many situations had been placed in her hands to deal with, almost as if Fahri and Kubra had gotten a kick out seeing what she would do next. It was as if she was an experiment to the two, but she never complained about the jobs she was given and gladly did exactly what she knew they wanted her to do. She had not complained; up until they gave her a job that involved a fair amount of violence she was not that comfortable with.

They had definitely paid a fair amount for the work, and she managed to pull off the operation successfully, her victim paying with an inch of his life. She had cringed every single time she heard a blow to his body; every single crack of the bone, feeling every single drop of blood shed onto the floor. By the time she had finished the job, her knuckles had been cracked open; raw and bloodied.

Reasons for this man's fate was not specified to Vause, she wasn't going to ask if not told about it to begin with, and left the man bleeding, limp on the floor. As she climbed into the driver's seat of her car, her cell started to ring.

"Yeah," she answered bluntly, starting to feel the exhaustion of her prior actions creep up on her nerves.

"_Is it done?_" a voice asked on the other end. It was Kubra this time around.

Alex looked out the side of the car window at the old abandoned warehouse she left the beaten man in and spoke a confirmation.

"You better get an ambulance here in a few minutes, Kubra. I left him in a bad state," she explained, cringing away from the warehouse.

"_That is precisely what was supposed to happen, Vause. Why would we bother to help a man who's betrayed us?_" he asked, with a tone of amusement.

"Dammit, Kubra, I'm not going to responsible for this man's death. Beat him to a pulp so he'll learn his lesson? Sure, but there is no way in hell I'm going down because I beat him to fucking death!" Alex exclaimed, reeling in her impatience. She just wanted this conversation to end. No, she wanted this entire night to end, already.

There was a pause on the other end, "_Consider it done. A few more_ _jobs in store for you_." Kubra and Alex had come to a compromise three months ago, that if she worked some difficult and risky jobs for him, he would release her from his organisation. That is if she managed to survive through those difficult jobs.

After _she _left, and after the terrible year in rehab for two near fatal overdoses, the unbreakable Alex Vause had realized she was not as immortal as she truly thought she was in her younger years. At first, she had thought Kubra would not allow it, thinking that death was the one and only option in order to be free. Truthfully, she almost considered this acceptable too. Just before she was ready to hand in everything to Kubra and request to resign, she remembered Piper's face. Clearer than it had been in a long time. She had fought the fear away and started to hope again. Hope for a better life as she humbly asked Kubra to let her go.

Kubra was definitely not happy about the idea of losing one of his best, if not his absolute best importer, but he and Alex had been friends for years before. He took pity on her and came up with a compromise.

"_Good job, Alex. I knew you could handle it. Until next time. Fahri will call you in a few days with information about the next job,_" Kubra said, and Alex heard the click as he hung up the phone, abruptly ending the conversation.

Alex glanced through the window of the car, one last time before turning the key and starting the ignition. Pulling away from the spot she parked, she started to drive to her favourite bar.

. . .

A few hours after she had arrived at the bar she was already starting to feel tipsy. She immediately made her move to the bathroom to clean up her knuckles as best she could, when she arrived, and settled into a booth in a far corner near the back to drink alone.

She watched the bar silently as she drank back her beer. She tended to do that often since Piper abruptly left her; people-watch. She also found out that watching people for a certain period of time worked to her advantage when recruiting her mules. No mules were needed that night, and Alex had hoped not ever, soon enough. But the habit was hard to break.

She spotted a woman sitting a few booths away from hers, chatting on her phone and drinking back margaritas. _Margaritas. _Those had been the drinks Piper had the first night they met. Instead of letting the sorrow swallow her that night, she shook away every thought of Piper Chapman, for a countless time, got up out of her booth and finished her beer. She slowly reached into her pocket, standing near the booth for a moment, pretending to look occupied with it, knowing that the girl sitting near drinking margaritas, had spotted her. She started to walk past the booth, attention now on the floor as she purposely dropped her phone on the floor by the girl's booth.

"Oh wait!" the girl exclaimed. _Still fuckin works. Every time._

Alex stopped in her tracks, looking the girl up and down, "You dropped your phone."

The girl seemed timid and shy, as she handed Alex her phone, Alex's hand caressing over her hand a little longer than necessary as she took the phone from the girl.

"Thanks, doll. I'm Alex," she introduced herself, holding her hand out to her.

"Laura," the girl spoke, her face turning a different color of pink, as she took Alex's hand and shook it.

"Do you mind if I sit with you for a while? I'm waiting up for a girlfriend, but she seems to be running quite late," she lied, plopping herself next to the girl before she could approve or disapprove. "So how is your night going, gorgeous?"

Laura blushed even redder, and stuttered, "G-good, thanks."

The night had gone by fairly well, in the company of Laura, and Alex lightly touched her arms whenever appropriate. She went out of her way to describe everything in bright detail, and by their fourth or fifth drink, Laura looked at her with absolute admiration and her shy side had faded away.

Alex leaned into Laura's ear and whispered, grazing her ear lightly with her lips, making the girl gasp, "Do you wanna get outta here?"

Alex brought her lips to her pulse point and lightly planted a kiss on Laura's neck, making her squirm in her seat. They abruptly gathered their things and left the bar.

As Alex and Laura made their way out of the bar, Alex spotted a man leaning against her car puffing away on a cigarette. The man was dressed in a handsome attire; suit, as if he had just finished a long night with important people.

"Wait here a sec, Laura, I'll be right back," she said, letting go of her hand, swiftly walking towards the car.

As she approached the man, he did not move an inch.

"Can I help you?" Alex asked, "You do know, people don't particularly appreciate it when you lean against their property, much like you're doing now, on _my _car."

The man threw his cigarette butt on the ground, squishing it with his shoe, "You're Alex Vause?"

Alex paused for a moment as she tried thinking back on where she might have seen this mysterious man before, but could not remember.

"Yeah, and who are you?" she asked.

The man grabbed her arm and swung her around, "Alex Vause, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney present at questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"

She stared straight ahead of her, in shock as the man put handcuffs around her wrists, and responded to his obvious question, "Yes."

_Fuck, I am so screwed; _she thought to herself as the man walked her to his car, placed his hand on the top of her head and pushed her down into the back seat of his cruiser. She did not know which situation she was being arrested for; the fact she nearly beat a man to death that night or the fact she had been involved with a drug dealing business for a decade.

Kicking the driver's seat in front of her, she cursed under her breath. "_Fuck!_"


	2. Chapter 2

_**So here is chapter 2, its angsty and a bit harsh, but it had to happen. lol **_

_**Alex fights for survival, fights to get herself away from the clutches of the drug abuse.**_

_**X0 Shay**_

"_How many shots does it take, to make my heart stop, and my body start to shake? If I should die before I wake."_

Alex stood at the door, shaking and shuttering, her teeth clattering together. The pain shooting through her body sent wave after wave of shocks, causing her body to writhe beneath her. She couldn't think clearly, sweat felt like it poured into buckets and her intestines ached from lack of food and drugs, as she stood still.

She managed to keep her addictions under check for two years, making sure never to use too much to the point where she'd lost herself. The shaking plagued her body, as she felt bile building up in her throat. She had managed to make it through twenty, far-from-pleasant, minutes throwing up non-stop, and she clutched at her stomach as she fell to her knees. Grasping the cool porcelain white toilet, she knew.

_She had lost herself. _

At this point, she knew she wasn't fooling anyone who knew her well enough. She knew she couldn't fool herself anymore, her usage towards heroin had grown to an alarming state over two years. First, it was one shot to the veins, the warmth spread like a hot knife through her body. Preventing her from sleeping on her weekends and feeling like absolute shit the next day. Then it came to two shots a day, three days a week. She started to screw up a lot with Kubra's business in order to get her fix more regularly. Then. It was… every… fucking… day.

When the effects of the heroin wore off and she couldn't feel that feeling of being weightless and forgetting everything that had ever happened to bring her to this, she was cooking up another shot of heroin and sticking the needle in her veins. It came to the point where she was putting the needle in any spot she could find a strong vein. She always told herself she would never be one of those kinds of users. She had met some sketchy users in her past, those of who would be more than willing to go to the extreme as to put the needle into their abdomen, or even worse. Their genitals. Looking back on the promise she made herself, she felt embarrassed to have to come to that point several weeks prior.

Her friends who were actually good for her, the kinds of people who kept her out of trouble, had left her behind. They slowly watched the calm, collective, and in control Alex Vause grow agitated easily. They watched her starve herself until she was barely able to stand, and they watched her wither away into nothing, while having to deal with her major mood swings when she needed to get her fix right then and there. They stood back and watched, until finally it was too much and they couldn't see her do this to herself any longer. They walked away.

_Walked away, just as Piper had. Stupid bitch, she's the reason this is happening to me, _Alex had thought as she continued to retch up the contents of what was in her stomach. She didn't have much in her stomach to begin with so foam and liquid was all that came out. Breathing in raggedly, feeling exhausted, Alex placed her hand over her cell, contemplating on whether to ring Piper up and start screaming at her for this, but thought better of it as her back met the outter part of the tub.

Whom was she fooling? She knew that Piper hadn't been the one to first inject the terrible drug into her veins that very first time. She knew her misery on _behalf_ of Piper leaving her behind was the reason to all this and she had only herself to blame for it. As she thought about Piper walking out of the hotel that day and taking her leave out of Alex's life for good, she glared. There was no excuse for Piper to leave the minute she did.

Piper had been her lover, the one most important person enough to Alex for her to give her her heart and soul. She was this entity, that she knew back then, she had took for granted, and regret for being the way she was plagued her heart. But Piper had also been the closest most dearest friend to Alex, as well. When she left Alex behind to pick up pieces in order to bury her mother six feet in the ground, Piper hadn't even had the decency to stay and be there for her when she needed her the most.

Neglected and thrown out. Alex became this freak creature in Piper's eyes, and remembering the look Piper gave her before she left, the memory of it broke her heart. Over and over again.

Getting fed up with the thoughts of Piper, and what had gone wrong on both sides, Alex got to her feet shakily and grabbed her phone.

Dialing the number she knew so well, she held the device to her ear and let it ring until someone on the other end picked up. It was a woman's voice.

Alex's patience wore extremely thin as she spoke a shaky voice, "Who the fuck is this? Put Fahri on the fuckin phone!"

The girl on the other end huffed in an annoying way that made Alex's jaw clench, but the girl handed the phone over, and Fahri answered.

"What the fuck do you want? It's one in the goddamn morning!" exclaimed Fahri, not even asking who it was that was calling.

"Hey. I need some stuff," Alex, said into the phone, feeling agitated once again further to the whole party's annoyance.

"Vause? What the hell, I knew you wouldn't be able to do it," his voice becoming softer to hearing hers, "I had hopes you might pull through, but you're in too deep kid!"

Fahri's laugh mocked her, and she knew he had meant to be a complete prick about it. Tears pricked her eyes and she held back a gutt wrenching sob, "Just get the shit here, Fahri, stop fucking around with me!"

This only made Fahri laugh harder and Alex pressed the button to end the call. Sure, Fahri could be a real asshole, condescending at the worst of times, but he and Kubra had always had a soft spot for Alex. For whatever reason, she couldn't fathom why, but she knew Fahri would have the herion delivered to her as soon as he could. Still, his reaction to her caving into the addiction, as if it were a monster calling to her to do everything just the way it wanted, hadn't helped her feel relief. Just intense agitation, and to this she threw her phone across the room.

Alex painfully flopped herself onto the couch, huffing and puffing, feeling like the oxygen in her lungs would cause her lungs to collapse and groaned at the pain. Grabbing the closest bucket a foot away, she curled up into herself and laid there until she felt herself dozing.

She dreamt. It was in black and white. Flashes of her mother came to her. She was younger, the wrinkles from working so much hadn't have taken their toll on her face yet, and she smiled brightly. In the dream, Alex couldn't have been any older than six years, and she sat with her mother in a valley. The valley itself was bright, sun shining through gaps of trees as the two built flower tiaras. Alex remembered this, it was one of the clearest memories she had had of her and her mother spending time together. The dream was a silent one, no voices were heard, no birds or swaying of trees in the wind. The dream switched to a memory of Piper.

Piper was laying in bed next to her, watching her intently back, with a beautiful breath-taking smile on her face, and Alex snapped awake when in the dream, Piper leaned in to place a kiss upon her lips. This bugged Alex immensely because, oh god, did her lips feel so fucking real, and when she opened her eyes, she found herself alone in her apartment. And Piper wasn't there. Her heart ached shortly before the bile rose up in her throat again, causing her to crash off the couch and onto the floor, heaving into the bucket.

The pain from the dry heaving caused every muscle in Alex's stomach to scream wildly at her, but she couldn't soothe the feeling of throwing up. As her body relaxed somewhat, she moved away from the bucket as she heard a knock on the door.

Getting up slowly and hobbling her way over to the door, she unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door, feeling rushed. Fahri stood there with a grin on his face.

His grin faltered when he looked at her closely, and spoke, "Figured I'd make a special delivery to you."

He paused, and Alex groaned stepping aside to let him in.

"You got pretty far, Vause. Two days? Usually junkies don't make it past the first several hours when trying to get clean," he explained quietly, and turned to her bringing a baggy of powder out of his pocket.

Alex stared at the baggy hungrily, chewing on her chapped bottom lip and moved to grab it from him. Before she could reach him, he moved farther away to a cupboard and produced a cup, and proceeded to fill the cup with water.

"Before I give you your fix, you have to drink this," he explained, holding the cup out to her.

Alex shook her head violently and started to groan, louder than she expected, grasping out for the baggy. Fahri swatted her hand away, grabbed her arm, and placed the cup into her hands.

"Im NOT fucking around here, Alex, don't waste yourself away like this, and drink the goddamn fucking water!"

Alex slowly brought the cup of water to her lips and swigged half of it down. Instantly, she felt the cool water start to churn in her stomach and she violently moved to the sink and started throwing it up.

To Alex's surprise, Fahri placed a hand between her shoulders and rubbed it gently in attempts to help calm her sick, while taking the cup and filling it in the extra sink that wasn't preoccupied by Alex.

After she calmed down and her stomach stopped flipping, she slowly gathered herself and moved out to get the baggy, but Fahri stopped her again and placed the glass of water back in her hands. Tears started to flow down her cheeks as she whimpered but willing took the glass from the man.

"It's better than throwing up nothing, kid," he whispered loud enough for her to hear.

She gulped the water down. And threw it up again. This process was repeated until she managed to hold it down, and Fahri handed her the bag of drugs finally.

"You've gotten this far," Fahri moved towards the door, preparing his leave, "You don't have far to go now. Fight for your life, Vause. This road as a junkie, you're playing a dangerous game."

Alex hadn't watched Fahri open the door and leave, she just stared blankly at the bag in her hands. She didn't want this pain that racked her body. She didn't want to be dependent on the drug anymore. She wanted to collect herself back. She wanted to be undefeatable again.

Moments of staring at the bag, she collected it off the counter and walked to the bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the tub of the ensuite, sobs shaking throughout her body. She finally cried. Finally cried for her mother. She missed her and needed her so bad at that moment. She wanted her mother to gather her in her arms and hold her. Sway her back and forth like she used to when she was a child.

She cried for Piper. She wanted the blonde so badly, her entire being ached since the day she left. And she wanted to bring back every broken piece of the two of them, to attempt to bandage it up. To make her stay. To convince her to continue to love her, because she needed Piper to do so. She needed Piper to love her. But she knew Piper wouldn't come back. She knew the blonde had had enough with her and left her behind for good.

And finally, she cried. She cried for herself. She unzipped the bag of drugs and broke it up with her fingers, smelling the powder on her tips.

As she stood, she slowly tipped the bag upside down over the toilet and painfully watched the contents fall into the water. She stood still, shocked at her actions, and dropped the bag itself in as well. Closing her eyes tightly, she pushed the handle down to flush the drugs down.

A tiny bit of relief rose up in Alex, and she knew caving in was not an option anymore. Her body started to shake again, and the pain shot through Alex's muscles and she groaned and whimpered.

_Here we go, again, _she thought to herself as she slumped down onto the floor and rode it out.


	3. Chapter 3

_**So here's another angsty some what depressing chapter to The Darker Side of Blue. SURPRISE! Piper and Alex bump into eachother years before having to serve time in prison. **____** Hope you all like it! **___

_**X0 Shay**_

Alex grasped onto Piper's shoulders and held on for dear life.

She had made it a full five days of being clean, yet the withdrawal felt as if it were getting worse and Alex _needed_ some sort of relief. Her body becoming accustomed to knowing one certain kind, she caved in. She knew she was acting weak and could have lasted it out if she just _tried._ But she had grown tired of feeling sick to her stomach, and tired of all the muscle spasms that plagued her body.

She spent another agonizing two days trying to clean herself up again. She tried so hard the last time, but just _couldn't_ overcome it.

Piper held onto her forearms and rubbed them back and forth. She watched Alex with an unfamiliar expression. One that almost seemed happy. A smile crept onto the corner of her lips, and it took everything in Alex to not scream at her to wipe it off. There was also a look of distaste towards Alex.

Alex shook her, grasp tightening around her shoulders and said, "Stop fucking laughing! Your eyes are fucking laughing at me!"

All the air escaped from her lungs and she realized, though she screamed these words, no sounds came from her throat, as if she was under water. She watched Piper's image distort, and she felt as though she was going to be sick again, as Piper turned into her mom. Piper no longer stood infront of Alex, and Alex continued to grasp shoulders, but these shoulders belonged to her mom.

Her mom smiled brightly at her and for the first time in what had felt like hours, Alex's ears perked up to hearing her voice.

"Baby, why are you doing this to yourself?" Judy asked, "I know you can do _so much better_ than this, you just have to keep trying!"

Her voice rang in Alex's ears, and for the first time in a long time Alex smiled. It had been two and a half years since she last heard her voice, and tears started to well in her eyes as she too managed to let her voice escape.

"Momma, I need you here… I can't do this alone!"

Judy shook her head slowly, placing her hand on Alex's cheek, but before she said anything more a ringing blared out in the room around them, and Alex and Judy vanished.

Alex's eyes snapped open and she groaned at being awake. It had all been a dream. Her relapse, her meeting with Piper, her meeting with her mom. It had all been a horrible, yet beautiful, dream, and Alex wiped stray tears from her eyes.

She had overcome the addiction almost two years ago, but dreams of her being high or between that and her becoming sober haunted her almost every night. Sure she missed the drugs, and definitely didn't miss the feeling of withdrawal, the dreams didn't help her to stay sober.

Slowly moving out of the bed, she grabbed her housecoat and made her move to the bathroom. Some one rustled around in her bed, which startled her. She had forgotten she picked up a girl at the bar the night before and slowly turned to face the chick.

In the process, she tried extremely hard to remember the girl's name. Failing to do so, she just waited until the girl spoke first.

"Hey."

"Hey… you?" Alex responded, not meaning to sound as confused as she had but couldn't help it.

The girl had beautiful long blonde hair and fair skin. She had greenish-blue eyes, almost similar to Pipers, but never ever exactly like hers. Alex noticed since she became sober, she had a habit of pursuing girls that had similar traits to Pipers. She knew it was a troublesome issue, but she couldn't find herself doing anything different, and as the girl propped herself onto an arm, Alex fidgeted with her glasses awkwardly.

"That sure was an awesome night," the girl spoke, and Alex shut her eyes slowly, trying to collect any memories from it.

"Can I join you for a shower?"

Alex grabbed onto the housecoat that was wrapped around her body and simply shook her head as a refusal.

"I don't really have showers with other people, sorry," she quietly mumbled, and continued, "Look, I, uh, I have a lot of stuff I need to do today so Im gunna have to leave right away."

The girl frowned, first at Alex's refusal to the shower, and then furthermore to the fact she was obviously being thrown out of the house so suddenly.

"Okay… well will I see you again soon?" she asked.

Alex huffed in annoyance, grinding her teeth slightly. She hated having to do what she was about to do. Treat them like one night stands. But that's all this was, and she wanted any ideas that might have formed in this strange womans' mind that it was in fact, only a one night stand.

"Look, I think you're a really nice girl, and I would love to be friends with you, but I am definitely _not _something you want," Alex explained, "I think maybe we could be friends if you wanted, but I can't offer you anything more."

Silence. The worst parts of it, before the girl sat upright abruptly, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. The girl glared at Alex, hurt being the expression on her face.

"Do you even know my _name_?"

_Oh for fuck, finally! _Alex thought, then spoke, "Actually… no. No, I don't. Last night was kinda fuzzy," she giggled to herself in attempts to cool the tension radiating off the angered girl.

"Its _LISA, _you ASSHOLE!" she shouted, "You were the one who put the moves on me last night, so now your doing this?!"

Alex stood still, raising a brow and finally spoke up, "Look _Lisa_. I don't _do _relationships, and yeah I flirted with you and got you in my bed, you were a good _fuck_! That's all there is to it."

With this, Lisa pushed the covers off herself and gathered her clothes, putting them on. Alex turned on her heel to respect the girls privacy, being fully aware of the girl glaring daggers into her back every twenty seconds or so.

"Its nothing personal, I just can't be what you want me to be," she said, still facing away from Lisa.

There were some audible huffs and puffs from the corner, before Lisa spoke up, "Yeah well, you weren't that great in the sheets, anyway."

Alex scoffed and bit on her thumb to stifle a full laugh, and turned around, "I beg to differ, considering your reaction last night, and right now…"

Lisa's face burned a bright red in embarrassment and walked out of the room, and Alex released a relieved sigh, and continued towards her shower. Chuckling to herself, she felt a heavy weight on her heart. If only she could put everything that was wrong, back to right, she wouldn't have to be such a cold hearted bitch to all the girls she had a habit of leading on.

If only she had stopped herself from being stubborn for just five minutes and begged Piper to stay, would she be waking up to Piper instead of these unknown girls.

. . .

Alex started her morning off much like she did every other morning. A hot cup of coffee in her hand, curled up on the settee with a book, and a few pieces of toast to munch on. Her day actually was going to be a busy one, and she was half relieved that she didn't have to lie about this one to Lisa.

Her phone started to beep, notifying her that someone was calling. The number read as a unknown number, and she reluctantly answered it in hopes it wasn't Fahri or Kubra. It was far too early for her to be hassled by either men.

"Hello?"

There was a pause on the other end, and Alex waited several moments before saying hello again. Still nothing, but she could hear a distinct breathing. She felt the annoyance building at the prank.

"Look, whoever this is, do you wanna stop wasting my fucking time here?" Alex abruptly blurted out, and the line went dead. Placing the phone into her pocket she lifted herself up off the couch.

She had been receiving regular calls over the past couple weeks that resulted in the same outcome, so she shrugged it off easily, and swigging back the remainders of her coffee she placed the cup on the counter on her way to the door. Putting her black army boots over her feet and locking the door behind her, she started her journey to town on foot.

She was making a habit of walking where she needed to go, instead of driving, to clear her mind. She always managed to have a bit more fun when walking, and enjoyed the lovely sights of distraction. She placed the headphone jack into her phone and started to listen to music, blaring out the noise of cars passing by, and smiled to herself as she made her way towards her favourite coffee shop.

Opening the door and stepping inside she turned her music down to order another cup of coffee for her journeys around town, when she felt someone staring at her.

Looking over her shoulder, she trembled at what she saw.

Piper was sitting at a table in a far corner, eyes wide open to the sight of Alex standing there, and Alex's jaw dropped at the sight of her.

She continued to stare at Piper, confused, wondering whether or not this was just another illusion, when the lady at the counter made Alex's attention snap away.

"What?" Alex asked, hurriedly.

"What can I get for you?" the girl asked, eyes darting up at her, a blush spreading across her face.

"Uh," Alex halted, distracted by the idea that Piper might flee if it really was true and she was only sitting ten feet away from her, "Just a large black coffee, please."

Looking back over to the corner where Piper sat, she frowned realizing that Piper was no longer there. She placed a hand over the counter and found a hand resting inches away from hers. She turned to look at who the hand belonged to.

In that moment it was as if time hadn't passed, as she gazed into familiar blue eyes, and it took every ounce of will power to not bring the woman in for a kiss. She wanted to kiss Piper, out of relief, and out of fear.

She had missed the blonde so much, but she also wanted this to not be an illusion for once, and maybe, if she could do as much as kiss her, Piper wouldn't vanish before her eyes.

Piper grinned at Alex, and Alex could see a hint of sadness behind the smile, "Hey," Piper said, feeling a bit awkward about Alex's surprise.

Alex felt tears sting at her eyes, and a lump in her throat built up as she struggled to find words. Piper grabbed her hand gently, causing Alex's eyes to close and bolt open again. She didn't trust her mind to believe this was happening, but Piper still stood there with a confused look on her face as she started to lead Alex over to her table.

Alex pulled a seat out to sit down, eyes never straying from Piper's face.

"Soo… I understand if you don't want to make small talk," Piper explained, once seated in her previous seat, "you can take your leave whenever. But I would like to catch up with you if your willing."

"I… Um…" Alex sputtered then shook her head, as if the action would clear her mind enough to form a sentence, but just stopped herself.

Opening her mouth, she inhaled quickly, "I've just been waiting for this moment for so long, thinking about what I would say to you. But now I have no idea what to say."

Piper's eyes lit up to hearing her voice finally. But the sadness in her eyes deepened, and she placed a hand on top of the back of Alex's hand. Alex's body stiffened, and she gently pulled away from her touch. She couldn't handle the sensation Piper still brought to her, even with just tiny comforting gestures.

"Alex…" she started, pulling her deserted hand away, "Im sorry. I know that I was a dick, I left-"

Alex held her palm out to stop her, "Piper, I don't have time for this." She swallowed hard, feeling nauseous suddenly, "And I don't wanna know your excuses for just deserting me. I've moved on, and so should you."

Alex meant to get up and walk away, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Piper didn't move an inch, and just waited. She felt Piper's eyes on her, and she had to force herself to glance into her eyes every couple of seconds.

"You're lying," Piper whispered, as if telling a secret.

"And so what if I am?" Alex seethed, glaring at the blonde, "Your concern isn't needed. Anything you say to me means nothing. You gave up the right of being of any importance to me the day you decided shit got too rough."

Alex could see tears building in Pipers eyes, and instead of getting up and walking away, she leaned in and kissed Piper roughly.

Looking at Pipers neck as she abruptly pulled away, she could see hints of bruises, "Hope whoever gave you _those_ can make you shake the way you are now."

Finally having enough will power, she pushed the chair away with her thighs as she stood, grabbed her coffee from the table and quickly made her leave.

She _had _wanted an explanation from Piper, she had lied about that. But she didn't want to give Piper the satisfaction of seeing how much the woman truly broke her to pieces.

As she slowly turned to look behind her, Alex saw Piper standing there, watching her walk away. Piper pulled a device to her ear as Alex watched her and stopped dead in her tracks. Her phone started to beep. Pulling it out and looking at the phone, it was the same number that had been calling her almost every day.

She answered, not really understanding why, but did so anyway.

"I now know why I never said anything when you answered my calls countless times. I had hoped you would eventually just ignore them… but you kept answering them anyway," Piper's voice rang through the ear piece of the phone and Alex laughed hard.

"How the hell did you get this number, Piper?"

Piper and Alex stood there watching eachother, not even twenty feet away, but remained on the phone.

"That doesn't matter, Piper, you need to stop calling this number," Alex cut her off before she could answer that question, "What are you trying to achieve? Doing _this_ to me?"

Standing on the spot, Alex stared into Piper's eyes, and could see tears running down her cheeks. To that last statement, Alex couldn't control her voice as it cracked, emotion seething through the receiver.

"I needed to see you. I don't know why," Pipers voice shook, and Alex got fed up with the tone on the phone and hung up. Instead of walking away from Piper she waltzed over to her. Piper jolted and instinctively stepped backwards, as Alex aggressively pushed her up against the wall behind her.

"We are through, Piper!" Alex's voice impatiently shook, "We have been through for years, now. And this conversation is _OVER! _Stop calling me, stop pursuing to make nice with me, because that's never going to fucking happen!"

Alex stopped, her body was shaking uncontrollably, and she closed her eyes. Opening them again, tears involuntarily crept from her lids and down her cheeks.

"_You have broken… every fucking piece of me…" _

She paused, holding Pipers arms against the wall, and continued as she stared into the blonde's eyes.

"_Coming in and out of my life when its fucking convenient for you, doesn't sit well with me Piper. You can continue to try as you are now, but this is the last time I'll say it to you. FUCK OFF! Just do what you do fucking best, Piper Chapman, and fuck off,_" she exclaimed, voice a whisper, barely heard.


End file.
